The last few months the recession has hit my household a little bit hard. Not like Mike Tyson hard, just “love tap gone wrong” hard.
We’ve had to change some things about our living routines (Ha! There you go NaBloPoMo). One of these things has been the cutting of my husband’s hair.
He was always a scrooge when it comes to his hair and would come home from some cheap arse salon with the worst haircuts ever because he didn’t want to tell them how to do their jobs…
So anyway, the recession-job-losey-thingy happened and the hubby decided that he would invest in a $24.00 hairdressing set that included clippers, a cape, scissors and a comb. He informed me that my new career is in hairdressing, that he is my only client (VIP) and that I would be working for free.
Thanks for the dream job!
Can I just say that he’s not a dream client??? Sorry, babe. You’re terrible.
Every time I cut his hair he huffs and puffs. He sighs a lot from boredom, even when I’m only five minutes into the job and he doesn’t seem to understand the value of me (a non professional hairdresser – very amateurish at best) taking some time to make sure I’m not cutting his ear off or giving him an ugly buzz cut!
He stops me every few seconds to inspect his hair do in the mirror and he likes to point out bits I’ve “missed” even though I clearly haven’t finished yet!
Or he likes to say very matter of factly, “That’s not how the hairdressers do it.”
Can I just say that’s a good thing?!
On a good day he’ll crack onto me as well!
I admit, I’m not perfect. But what do you expect when you hire me for free without even checking my hairdressing credentials? For starters, a hairdresser’s hair is the best advertisement of her talents (or the respectability of his/her colleagues) and my hair hasn’t seen a salon in six months! I had this Lady Gaga/Posh bob combo happening when the “bad money times” hit and it’s grown out terribly ever since – think shaggy and drab (awesome)! I am actually terrified of what my real hairdresser will think when I finally visit her! I’m so not trendy and my home colour is growing out.
Secondly, I’ve never cut anyone’s hair before. Trimming your own fringe so you can actually see does not count as work experience!
Also, I have this habit of (accidentally) waving my scissors mere centimetres from the hubby’s face while he looks at me in horror. I kind of don’t notice I’m doing it until he screams like a girl. I’m terrible at small talk and when I try to gossip hair dresser style (for example asking him about his weekend draws a blank look because I was actually there), he looks at me funny.
Oh and at the end of the hair cut I am bad at holding the mirror up to him so he can see the back of his head. And he lets me know.
Really, he’s becoming a bit of a diva…
hahaha I’ve only cut my own bangs and a Halloween wig. Oh wait I did cut my boyfriends hair once, it was just the back though it was getting long.
that’s hilarious!!
Look at the positive side of it: you didn’t cut his ear:P
HAHAHA Your husband is funny, but the fact that you give him the “salon treatment” as well is the real kicker!
You’ll get better as time goes on… & if he huffs & puffs & fidgets, just remember – YOU’RE holding very sharp & dangerous implements
<3 x
haha that’s hilarious. the only time I’ve ever played hairdressor was on a boyfriends hair but luckily he just wanted it shaved off! very hard to mess up.